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Pinky Consultations
Are you:

  • expecting a baby and trying to wade through a maze of information?

  • home alone with your newborn (and no buzzer to call a midwife for help)?

  • feeling confused by conflicting advice?

  • desperately seeking sleep? 

Are you wondering, which information can I trust? Will I be able to breastfeed? What is the best way to help my baby sleep? How do we calm our baby when he cries –and cries?

Are you walking the floor trying to soothe your baby, with tears streaming down your own face as you worry, am I losing my milk?  Is he sick?  Why am I crying too?  Could I have postnatal depression? 

Your feelings of inadequacy and panic could see you arguing with your partner over what is best – should we leave our baby to cry?  If we cuddle him too much, are we creating ‘bad habits’? It seems that everybody you meet has an opinion – about YOUR baby!

As your own stress levels escalate and you become increasingly confused by conflicting advice, you enter a vicious cycle – your own confidence plummets, every comment (even by perfect strangers) rattles around in your head and you begin to feel more and more confused. This confusion affects how you make parenting choices, how you relate to your baby, your partner relationship and your own well-being.

The last few weeks have seen me have more breakdowns than I had when suffering from PND, I felt stressed, trapped, lost, overtired, confused, anxious and almost resentful towards my number one son. I was getting very worried that with dealing with a newborn at night plus my son getting up at night that it would lead me straight back down the path to PND; something I am determined never to experience again. (That’s a different story) To me, there was no way out of what seemed to lay ahead. Finally someone has stopped, heard me and listened to me about my concerns.
– Vicky, mother of a 19 month old and a newborn


Have you planned beyond your baby’s birth?

You have planned long and hard to become parents; you have carefully planned how and where you want to give birth and you have carefully selected your carers. But, have you planned support for parenting your baby?

Giving birth is your first step into the unknown for the love of your child. By making careful choices about your carers and your birthplace, you are entering your journey as parents responsibly, with strength. However, there are many more steps along this amazing journey.

It is equally important to prepare for your life after the birth of your baby. For instance, what parenting styles will feel most comfortable for you? How will you share the care of your baby with your partner?  And, what support will you need to ease the transition from independent, confident woman to hormonally fragile, exhausted new mother trying to meet the unrelenting needs of a vulnerable newborn?  Even if you are not the partner giving birth, you too can expect to feel equally helpless as you are affected by sleep deprivation and the overwhelming responsibility of supporting the new mother (but not being able to ‘fix it’ when she cries or rages at you –and please don’t think this only happens to couples who don’t have a ‘strong’ relationship).

 

Why not hire a mentor or personal parenting coach?

In every other aspect of your life whether it is in regards to professional development, fitness, or finances, you seek out role models, trainers and mentors.  Wouldn’t you feel much better if you could have a nurturing mentor to help you adapt to your new role as parents?  Somebody who can light your way through a dark tunnel of confusion and overwhelm; somebody who isn’t judgemental yet can look at the situation with fresh eyes and a wealth of experience and training; somebody calm and gentle who can help you see the wood from the trees and who will really listen to you; somebody who can teach you some simple strategies that will have you feeling calm, confident and ‘in charge’ and that YOU are the expert about YOUR precious newborn? 

I wanted to pass on heartfelt thanks for the wonderful support you have provided to our family. You have given me the most amazing gift - the confidence to mother intuitively and to know what's best for me and my baby. I had received lots of advice from hospital midwives and lactation consultants regarding breastfeeding. I had been unlucky, having two bouts of mastitis and then my baby failing to gain weight as quickly as expected. I was getting pressure from the hospital and later my maternal and child health nurse, to consider formula top-ups, which I only wanted to do as a last resort. I found that while there is lots of promoting 'breast is best', there are also many interactions new mums have in both health and social arenas that undermine confidence and make you doubt the ability to breastfeed exclusively.

Ever since you visited our family, my experience of breastfeeding and confidence as a mum has improved exponentially. I enjoy feeding now and have no discomfort. But more importantly, I now trust that my baby is receiving all the nourishment and comfort she needs from me

I am learning to relax, trust and cherish this special time. Thanks to your support, I now have a number of strategies to ensure that my baby thrives. So on behalf of the Alexander family, many thanks for your generosity, insight and practical advice. I was touched that you followed up with me on more than one occasion to see how we were going. You made a real difference for us and we will be forever grateful for the time and energy you invested in getting us to such a positive place.

Many thanks,
Catherine, Jason and baby Sasha.
 
Thanks so much for your visit yesterday. It was really good to receive the reassurance that I am on the right track to managing the feeding/sleeping challenges a newborn brings and that all my insecurities are normal for a “new” Mum. I feel like such a rookie after an almost 6 year gap between my sons! You’d never think that I’d already had one child!! Your tips and advice were really encouraging and I especially liked your attitude that whatever worked for our household  was the “right” way to do things – so refreshing after reading/hearing so many “dos and don’ts” from various sources that my head was spinning.
– Lia Henry, Melbourne
 
Pinkys Way: Consultations and Early Parenting Programs

Because parents have varying needs and a range of existing support available, I have created several levels within my ‘Pinky’s Way’ consultation and early parenting packages.  For instance, you may be expecting your first baby and want to feel well-informed and supported with a Priority Access personalised support package or you may feel that a Home study package (including phone consultations) will be helpful, especially if you live in another city or country. You may want a ‘one off’ In Home Consultation (in your own home) or a Phone Consultation to boost your confidence and give you some strategies to implement immediately.

Whichever option you choose, you can feel secure in the knowledge that you will be supported with respect for your own personal needs; that there will be absolutely no advice to 'let your baby cry'  ; that any plan of action will be acceptable to your unique family situation and that if your situation requires help beyond Pinky's expertise, you will be referred to appropriate professionals.

In Home Consultations

Pinky is available to visit you in your own home and help you with:

Breastfeeding difficulties such as

  • positioning and attachment;
  • milk supply issues (too much or too little);
  • sore nipples
  • mastitis
  • working and breastfeeding and more complicated situations such as premature or special needs babies

... so that you can enjoy feeding your baby.

"You came to see my and my son about lactation issues when he was still very young - he was a few weeks old. Your advice was fabulous and the support I felt I got from you was invaluable. I can now proudly say, two years on, that I am still breastfeeding him and he is a happy, beautiful boy. Thank you for the wonderful support you gave to me and that you continue to give to other women!

love,Ann-Marie Horsley x

Sleep and settling support

Pinky can also show you how to gently settle your baby and/ or help your baby sleep, without inappropriate ‘cry it out’ (CIO) regimes. She will take your baby's history and work with you to help you trouble shoot why your baby is unsettled or is having difficulty sleeping and how to solve this. Pinky will also help you understand your baby’s nonverbal cues so that you become attuned to your unique baby’s body language, such as signals that your baby is hungry, sleepy, uncomfortable, wanting to interact or be left alone. A consultation can include baby massage techniques to help you calm and connect with your baby and/ or specific strokes to relieve the discomfort of colic and reflux.

"Dear Pinky,
it is about 12 months since you came to see myself and my son Oscar, who was about 9 months old at the time. I wanted to say a very big thankyou for your advice and to let you know how Oscar's sleeping is going.  When you came to see us, Oscar was waking every 20 to 30 minutes all night long, and my husband, Paul, and I were exhausted as this had been going on for more than 2 months.

At the time you suggested that Oscar might have a Salicylate intolerance.  We removed the fruit from his diet and after 7 days we had a dramatic improvement, with Oscar waking only a couple of times a night.  Just to be sure, we added the fruit back and within 3 days the constant waking and restlessness was back.  At that point we took Oscar to a dietitian who put us on a strict elimination diet for 4 weeks.  I had to do it as well, as we were breastfeeding (Oscar is now almost 21 months and has just self weaned in the past week).  It was incredibly hard for the first couple of weeks, but as with our first trial, the results made it all worthwhile.  Not only was he sleeping better, but he was a much happier, calmer little boy. 

We have since been on a very long process of food challenges; reintroducing groups of food chemicals to see which ones he reacts to.  As a result, we have discovered that Oscar has intolerances to Salicylates, Glutamates, food colours and most preservatives.  As well as the sleep disturbances, the food intolerances also caused tantrums (food colours) and an increase in colds and asthma.  His diet is still quite limited in fruit and vegetables and because of the food colours and preservatives there is very little processed food he can have, but it is no longer difficult.  Not being on the diet is difficult. 


Thank you so much for your advice.  I don't know how long it would have taken us to look at food as the cause if you hadn't suggested it.  I'm also very grateful that I had someone to talk to who did not advocate or push controlled cyring/comforting.  Going down that path (which was suggested many times) would not have helped us as there was a physical reason why Oscar couldn't sleep.  He wasn't being naughty, he wasn't "trying it on", he wasn't too clingy - he just physically could not sleep, and that's when he needed mum and dad most.

So, from all of us, thank you very much.
Sandra Gleeson, Paul and Oscar

Private baby massage sessions:

Pinky is a Certified Infant Massage Instructor and a member of Infant Massage Australia. As well as offering group classes (get your mums group together and invite Pinky to share a session with you -as well as baby massage, you will have an opportunity to ask her baby related questions), Pinky offers private sessions so that you, your partner and your baby can enjoy precious family bonding time together in the familiar environment of your own home. These sessions are appropriate for babies as young as two weeks.

Baby massage can be especially helpful if you have had a difficult birth or you are not breastfeeding and are concerned about bonding with your baby. Baby massage is an excellent way for partners (whether father or same sex partner) to share a close bond with baby.

Baby massage helped me come to terms with not being able to breastfeed. I now have a beautiful emotional connection with my baby and I have been able to let go of my sense of failure.
– Stephanie, mother of a four month old.

For a very special baby gift, you may like to give a new family a gift voucher for a baby massage session with Pinky. Pinky is also available to do baby massage sessions with mums’ groups.

 

Booking a private consultation

Pinky says, “I want to give new parents and their babies my full attention and the time they deserve to ‘iron out little creases’ and solve more difficult problems without having stressed mothers watching the clock.” In order to do this, rather than charge an hourly rate, Pinky charges an upfront fee of $295 which includes a two hour consultation in the comfort of your own home, a FREE book or DVD plus a follow up phone consultation. If you live within the City of Knox, please ask about local rates.

Pinky is happy to travel to Melbourne based parents within 45 minutes of Wantirna –with Eastlink, this is quite a distance and includes suburbs as far as Coburg/ Preston/ Resrvoir;  Templestowe/ Doncaster/ Greensborough; Oakleigh/ Chadstone; Malvern/ Toorak/Armidale; St Kilda/ South Yarra/ South Melbourne, Port Melbourne,  Brighton, Canterbury/Camberwell/ Hawthorn and Richmond as well as outer eastern suburbs, Dandenong Ranges and Berwick/Narre warren.
If Pinky is unable to visit you within a short time or you live a greater distance away, you will be offered a referral to a colleague who will be able to offer a similar service. Pinky can also offer interstate contacts who will offer early parenting support that doesn't involve controlled crying/ controlled comforting or any sort of cry it out techniques.

To book a private consultation, either email pinky@pinkymckay.com.au with your contact details, age of baby and what help you require or please call Pinky’s answering service: +61 3 867 83928.  

 

Phone consultations

A phone consultation with Pinky may help parents of babies or toddlers to address some issues. Please be aware that Pinky will not be able to observe your baby or child/ assess specific feeding difficulties etc over the phone but can refer you to appropriate practical help and offer immediate suggestions.

For phone consultations, Pinky’s fee is $80 per half hour/ $120 per hour, payable by credit card over the phone at the time of consultation. As with private visits, phone consultations will be by appointment. This can be arranged by email or an initial call.

Bookings: call Pinky’s answering service: +61 3 867 83928        
Or email pinky@pinkymckay.com.au

 

Emails

Because of the large number of emails Pinky receives each day and the limited nature of emails and obtaining important information, as well as the time required to respond appropriately, Pinky is unable to offer email consultations and advice. If you need help please make a booking for a phone or personal consultation with Pinky or check out her books .

 

 
 
Pinky’s Way: Early Parenting Packages

Having worked very successfully with thousands of new parents, I have seen a big gap in postnatal services – most are seriously overloaded, many have long waiting lists – even emergency help-lines can have a wait of up to an hour before you get to speak to a professional (this can be very stressful in the middle of the night or when you are home alone with a screaming baby).

When I do private consultations with new mothers, I feel sad that so often I am ‘the ambulance at the bottom of the cliff’ – helping to pack together families who are desperate and distraught about crying babies and sleepless nights or painful breastfeeding when, with appropriate information and early support, many of these situations could be prevented.

This is why I have developed my ‘Pinky’s Way’, Early Parenting Packages – for parents just like you who are making conscious choices about how you want to nurture your child – safely, respectfully and calmly.

As an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCL), a Certified Infant Massage Instructor and Best-Selling baby care author, all of my work is thoroughly researched and evidence based.  As a mother of five, I can also help you make parenting much easier and stress- free as I teach you simple, practical strategies to save you time and angst so that you can enjoy your baby and maintain a loving relationship with your partner.   

 

"Pinky’s Way" - Priority Access Personalised Support Package

In order to give you priority access and support that is personalised to your specific needs, I am only accepting a very limited number of bookings for this exclusive package. Bookings during early to mid pregnancy are advised to avoid disappointment.  However, as this is a new program, I will be able to help a small number of families who are due to have a baby in early 2010.

This package includes:

Three personal consultations – for example:
  • A prenatal consultation in your own home to discuss preparing for baby, early bonding and attachment, breastfeeding preparation and setting up practical support systems.
  • A newborn consultation, either at home or in hospital during your first postnatal week to support you with breastfeeding and any early settling/ calming or parenting questions.
  • A follow up consultation at 4 to six weeks in your home to discuss what to expect as your baby grows – from supporting your baby’s development to managing your day and balancing your own needs. This session also includes baby massage instruction.
(If you already have a baby you could have 3 baby consultations spaced over several weeks)
PLUS
  • Six phone consultations during the first 8 weeks: Two ‘emergency calls’ (24 hour access – this is only available with packages), plus 4 calls by appointment (more calls are available if necessary but will incur a fee).

Pinky's Way deluxe information pack:

  • Pinky’s books ‘100 Ways to Calm the Crying’ and ‘Sleeping Like a Baby’
  • Pinky’s Ebook ‘Breastfeeding Simply’
  • Pinky McKay’s Infant Massage DVD
  • Pinky’s Interviews with experts Package ‘Early loving, Early Learning –Loving ways to Make your Baby Smarter’. Includes a binder of transcripts plus CDs.
PLUS
Bonus 12 month membership in Pinky’s Mummy Mentor Membership program (beginning February 2010)

Total Value -  $1,796.64

Pay in full - $1,497

Instalments - $600 deposit plus 2 monthly payments of $495 (total $1,590)

Bookings – contact Pinky email pinky@pinkymckay.com.au or phone +61 3 867 83928   

 

"Pinky’s Way" - Home Study Package


This is appropriate for parents who live beyond Pinky’s distance requirements for personal consultations and includes:

  • Two phone consultation vouchers (calls by appointment)

PLUS

Pinky’s Way, Deluxe information pack:

  • Pinky’s books ‘100 Ways to Calm the Crying’ and ‘Sleeping Like a Baby’
  • Pinky’s Ebook ‘Breastfeeding Simply’
  • Pinky McKay’s Infant Massage DVD
  • Pinky’s  Interviews with experts series ‘Early loving, Early Learning –Loving ways to Make your Baby Smarter’ (Binder of Transcripts and Cds).
PLUS

 Bonus 12 month membership in Pinky’s Mummy Mentor Program

Value - $655. 64

Pay now - $497

Instalments – deposit $297 plus 2 monthly instalments $129 (total $545)

Bookings – contact pinky@pinkymckay.com.au or phone +61 3 867 83928   

 

Email
Due to the large number of emails received each day, Pinky regrets that she is unable to respond to email queries. This is exactly why she has written her books – "100 Ways to Calm the Crying" and "Sleeping Like a Baby" – so that parents can extract the information that will suit their unique baby and family situation.

Pinky does not offer medical advice and recommends that anybody concerned with their baby’s health, seek advice from an appropriate health professional.


 

Pinky’s  Mummy Mentor Membership program


This program is suitable for parents, parents to be and professionals who would enjoy support and information about gentle, responsive parenting. It is a low priced alternative that will suit new and experienced parents and consists of monthly tele-seminars/ webinars that you can download and listen to at your convenience.  As well as regular monthly tele-seminars there will be occasional bonus tele-seminars depending on requests and availability of carefully selected professionals.   You will be notified of topics in advance and will be able to submit questions for Pinky or guests to answer.


Cost - $9.97 per month (this program will be available from February 2010)