Mummy Matters

“At first we started having morning tea at each other’s houses and when it was my turn I couldn’t even make the other women cups of coffee because my baby is so fussy. Now we have started doing lunches, how on earth can I keep up?” asked Ali, the stressed mother of a high needs baby who was feeling the pressure to keep up with the super-mums at her mother’s group.

Ali’s distress brought back memories – and some trade secrets that I don’t feel pressured to keep to myself any more. I would never have ‘made it’ in a mum’s group full of Martha Stewart clones either but if a bit of honesty on my part couldn’t have coaxed these girls out of their neatly folded closets, I wouldn’t have let them beat me – I would have cheated!  Secret number one – don’t do it all by yourself – find a fabulous deli that does ‘home cooking’ and pop out some fresh quiches, breads and dips with a carafe of juice or iced water. If you feel any guilt about not playing waitress, mutter piously how dangerous hot drinks are around small children.

Of course, if you are having company that you need to impress you will probably have to clean up. This can be quick and easy if you hide stuff. Hiding stuff can have long-term rewards too – imagine the happy memories that were evoked when I recently found the tiny missing boot cover to my daughter’s left roller-skate: it’s been missing since before roller-blades were invented (she’s twenty two now!).

You need to be very careful about hiding stuff though – it can be awkward when you get sprung. Like the time my Nana called to say she was bringing an elderly Aunt to visit and I panicked: I picked everything up off the floor and dumped it onto the table, scooped it together in the table cloth, then dumped the full table cloth in the spare room wardrobe ( to be dealt with much later). Next, I cleared the bench-top – straight into the oven – books, papers, anything that had accumulated there was neatly hidden.  A quick wipe down (surfaces and baby) and we were ready to impress. That is, until Nana arrived with a delicious home made pie for our lunch that just needed a few minutes heating in the oven (growing up in the shadow of a real home-maker has its own pressures)! 

One of the most important things to remember if you need to cheat to become a super- mummy is that you should never let it bother your conscience. Remind yourself at all times that Super Mummy cheats have their families’ best interests at heart: super-mummies take care of themselves so that they can take better care of their families.   As the old saying goes, ‘if Mama ain’t happy, then nobody ain’t happy’ but if Super Mummy is happy, then her happiness radiates out to her family and everyone feels happy.

Cheats for Super Mummies

• Don’t waste time scrubbing bottoms of pots – black absorbs heat better

• Don’t iron anything that looks unironed 5 minutes after you pop it on.

•  Don’t fold stuff . Then you won’t get rattled when the kids empty their drawers.

• Use low voltage light bulbs or light some candles. This isn’t about romance - it disguises dust! 

• Don’t clean windows. Let the kids paint them. You are encouraging their creativity!

• Take a ‘jarmie day’. If you have a high needs baby this is a proven settling technique – you are reducing stimulation to your baby. If you let your toddlers take a jarmie day with you, just wet their hair before hubby gets home and he’ll think they are already bathed and ready for bed (well, maybe - those grubby PJs could give you away!).

• Conversely, bath and dress the kids in tracksuits before bed then you’ll be ahead tomorrow morning when they wake up already dressed.