When my own babies were small, neither social ideology nor wakeful babies caused me a lack of sleep – my babies slept snuggled up with me at night. My choice to co-sleep wasn’t based on research studies, it was simply ‘best practice’ for our family - or, where we all got the most sleep. Now there is a plethora of research about infant sleep and I find it fascinating to compare this to my own experience: read – have my childrearing choices conveyed lasting benefits?
Attachment parenting or ‘AP’ as it’s often referred to by more devout proponents, is a label that can arouse strong emotions and create divisions among mothers. For some, it conjures up visions of latter day hippies with bare bottomed babies strapped to their bodies around the clock and seems too ‘out there’ to contemplate. For others, it can seem like an ideal that would be lovely but is just too hard to live up to in this space age world with so many demands on mothers and not enough loving arms to share the load….
Forgot the flashcard saying ’you are being born’?
Don’t have a curriculum beyond cuddles for your 3 month old?
If you are worried your child may be ‘slipping behind’ his peers because you haven’t been providing enough educational enrichment, relax! New research shows that the most critical factor in helping your baby’s brain development is loving, responsive interactions between you and your baby.
“Mummy, he’s got brown hair!” My (then) ten year old exclaimed as she stood shoulder to shoulder with the midwife, watching her baby brother’s head crown. This time it was my turn to tell her, “ he’s got black hair!” as she gave birth to her own baby son .
You may have heard the term ‘accidental parenting’ which implies that you, the parents, have inadvertently caused (or will cause) your baby to have sleeping difficulties if you encourage ‘bad habits’ such as letting your baby fall asleep
in your arms or not following a strict regime of one sort or another.
The truth is, there is no accident about how you feel when your baby calms and dozes in your arms, opening heavy eyelids to meet your gaze then perhaps giving a tiny smile before his eyes fl utter shut again
You may have heard a million jokes about mother-in-laws, but when it comes to dealing with your own, up close and personal, especially when you become a parent, it isn’t easy to see the funny side. Unfortunately, we can’t choose our in-laws – they come as part of the package along with the person we fall in love with
The young mother set her foot on the path of life.
“Is the way long?” she asked.
And her Guide said: “Yes. And the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning.”
A crying or demanding child (or simply a different style of parenting) is like a green light for other people to become experts about your kid. With practice you can become adept at recognising the characteristics of these self-appointed authorities and counter their attacks, or at least create a diversion until you can gather your reserves.
I find it quite astonishing that people will spare no expense or effort to plan an elaborate wedding and a romantic honeymoon and yet the greatest change of life – having a baby- is often expected to be a mere ‘blip on the radar’ that should fit into an already busy schedule….
‘I knew I’d be a perfect mother. And my perfect baby would be a credit to my perfect mothering. I knew, too, that I would never ‘let myself go’ – that I would always be immaculately groomed and, eventually, surrounded by a whole family of perfectly clean, perfectly behaved children and a perfectly adoring husband in a gleaming, perfectly sparkling home.
‘Alas, I wasn’t like the TV mothers…..
